Sen. Hillary Clinton on Friday harshly criticized Supreme Court nominee John Roberts over his failure to lie about his deeply held beliefs.
"If one is going to claim to keep 'deeply held beliefs,' the Senator believes they should be kept, well... deep," said George Baker, a spokesman for the junior Senator from New York. "Sure, these beliefs exist. Sure, they're part of an overall plan to reshape America in her-- I mean, his-- own image. But they should be reframed, packaged, perhaps even contradicted in a brazen move to the center. But never be revealed!"
The Senator said the Robert's failure to create a "mainstream, centrist" characterization of himself in the popular imagination was a sign of "deep narcissism and dangerous transparency."
She further criticized his judicial decisions, claiming that they were heavy-handed, judgmental and "legalistic."
She also noted that Judge Roberts had a peculiar lack of "unexplained deaths" surrounding him. She hinted at perhaps a sinister explanation, since, in the America she knows and loves, "people you know just start dropping dead all over the place."
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